Due to global warming and the sudden drop in obesity in Tonga, the following position is open. Interested candidates can forward their resumes along with expected returns and previous positions held to the author.
Position: Conversation Partner
Skills required: An ability to listen without a glazed look in the eyes. Talking is not a required feature.
Qualifications: Must know the history of England as published by Sellars and Yeatman. Should be aware of the Rising Yen. Is aware of the fact that Tom and Jerry is possibly one of the greatest inventions of mankind. Will help if possesses an ability to laugh at M*A*S*H* reruns. Must never tire of random ideas being the topic of the day. Should agree that Shakespeare is overrated.In fact, should agree that pretty much all “classic” literature is overrated. With the exception of the Greeks. And Wordsworth. Should know the origin of the Divide-and-Rule policy. No – the Raj is not the correct answer. Must never ever inititate a discussion on Really Bad Indian Authors And Unfortunately Winners Of Awards. An ability to sit through hours of silence is a pre-requistie. Must not interrupt meaningful viewings of Soppy Movies that induce late-night discussions on relationships. Or the lack of them. Must never question the purcahse of books even when there is clearly no space left to put them in. Must never reprimand said owner of books for wild tantrums when books are found to have been dog-eared, upended or (gasp!) written on by others. In fact, must never reprimand. Period. Should cherish the oldest copy of Wren and Martin’s for its sheer beauty. Must find Nabokov to be an Exceptionally Repulsive Mind. Should want to watch “Me Nathuram Godse Boltoy”. Should not want to watch trash cinema. Must know who Ertha Kitt was. Must find it incredibly sweet to name a child Pica Farhad. And smile at that. Must discuss the weather.
All of the above are man-dat-ory. If you don’t get the pun in that, don’t bother to apply.
Posted by Arjun on January 22, 2009 at 23:22
Who the hell is Ertha Kitt? And I find Nabokov brilliant.
For a moment, I thought about Pico-Farad and felt scientifically tickled.
Posted by suhasini on January 23, 2009 at 00:04
Google shall answer your question.
The point is to find him repulsive. Brilliant can also be repulsive. Like Dali.
Pica Farhad was the sweetest little thing ever. Her dad was a brilliant professor of nano-particulate physics.
It’s nice to “get” scientific jokes, innit?
Posted by Endless Randomness on January 23, 2009 at 10:06
You my dear are very very random!
Posted by Crimson Feet on January 27, 2009 at 13:43
lol!!
you doing a pretty brilliant job of it yourself!
Posted by mattedlocks on February 16, 2009 at 17:49
by far the best post. inspires me to write something similar… will ensure there is no copyright violation and mention your post as ‘inspiration courtesy’
ciao!
Posted by suhasini on February 16, 2009 at 19:16
@mattedlocks: Thank you. I’m flattered. Most definitely do not consider myself as inspiration-worthy material!
Nice to know you though, presuming I do know you…